Finally, no more cramping of info into my puny bird brain & spending
practically the whole day at the
library growing the size of my ass. Alas! free at last : )
Sigh.. beneath all that happiness lies a really raging bitch waiting to flare out at everything
thats pissing her off right now. Like my lap top is running at god knows how slow that my sentences are lagging by almost 10
secondas after i type them out. How i am feeling? Its like a small kid all excited upon hearing the rings of the ice cream man. And the not so happy ending, she drops her precious cone on the ground. Freaking everything is really pissing the hell out of me.
Alright picture this, me speaking on behalf of my younger brother to my dad, telling him how
ej should be given the opportunity like
alll other children, or rather little boys, to play computer games & have his time on the computer. And even coming to an agreement on his behalf, entitling his to play time on the com after his paper tomorrow.. & me feeling
al satisfied and proud of myself as a sister. Then! i decided to treat myself to one
eps of One Tree Hill before retreating to bed for my well deserved rest. Only to find out that my younger brother kind of screwed up the computer by inserting some floppy disk w virus into the computer. CAUSING THE FUCKING HARD DISK TO CRASH. so now,m we are pathetically reduced to my darn slow laptop & my parents' room com. the demon in me is like a time bomb waiting to explode.
erks.
and moving on the more
upsetting turnpoint of the whole night.
Deja vu. I've felt this disturbing 6
th sense before. The feelings & situation are almost identical. My 6
th sense feelings after "this thing happened" was exactly like before.
Amidst those smiles and assurance, i know something is wrong. Despite all your counter
arguments and debating. Some thing in me is just telling me that
aint the way things are. Something is amiss. I know a part of the story was altered and made up. How do i know. The look in your eye and actions gave you away. So clearly. I wished,sometimes, that i was naive and gullible in such situations. Somehow,
hearingonly the good things really makes one life easier &
stress free. We've both sinned & made mistakes. We have hurt each other by carrying out insensitive actions that we both wished we could just take back if only we could turn back time. ( Well,
thats how i feel on my part.) Knowing that hiding innocent actions would only lead to misunderstandings and
accusations. The foundation of trust already brittle and in
nedd of strong reinforcements. Just tell me .. THE TRUTH. my heart
aint made out of rock. like the
titiantic, even the unsinkable will eventually sink.
